I want to walk on stilts...naked
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
In America we eat man semen.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
