Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
