and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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