Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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