She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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