addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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