we made out on top of his cat.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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