All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize