I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize