Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
