She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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