if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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