My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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