Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
