Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
then he tried to convert me to islam
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You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
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Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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