Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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