just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
