apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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