im drinking this country out of the recession.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
