bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
