then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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