i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
