So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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