Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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