Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
