So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
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