they need to just BURY HIM!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
