So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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