the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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