So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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