Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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