he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
