"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
