Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
