Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
