I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
