i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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