I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize