I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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