So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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