Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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