the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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