talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
