see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
We just shotgunned beers for America
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
