I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
