The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
