that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
