Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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