this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
