i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My day in three words: secret purse cake
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
