What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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