i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
