there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
