Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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