Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
