Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize