I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
