I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
