I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
