She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
