you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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