so explain again why im purple
no
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
