just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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