the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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