so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
