wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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