I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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