I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
smell my finger.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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