id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
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he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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