Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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