I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
