Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
