we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
