My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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